Top 50 Jokes to Make Someone Laugh Really Hard
Brighten up your day with the following Top 50 Jokes to Make Someone Laugh Really Hard.
| Joke 1: Hardest Job Ever: Working In A Bubble Wrap Factory. Imaging The Self Control Needed. |
| Joke 2: Once, I gave my husband silent treatment for a week. At the end of which, he said, “hey, we are getting on great lately!” |
| Joke 3: Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.” Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!” Doctor: “Nine.” |
| Joke 4: Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause. |
| Joke 5: Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear. |
| Joke 6: Q: What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden? A: Artificial Swedener. |
| Joke 7: Q: What do you call a man that irons clothes? A: Iron Man. |
| Joke 8: Q: Why are frogs are so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them. |
| Joke 9: I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the SIGNS were there. |
| Joke 10: Q: How did the barber win the race? A: He knew a shortcut. |
| Joke 11: Q: What’s the best season for trampolines? A: Spring time. |
| Joke 12: Q: What kind of button doesn’t button or unbutton? A: A belly button. |
| Joke 13: Q: What do you call a pile of cat? A: A meow-tain. |
| Joke 14: A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup. Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?” The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.” |
| Joke 15: Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game? A: All of the fans left. |
| Joke 16: Q: Why did the fish get bad grades? A: Because it was below sea level. |
| Joke 17: “Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.” |
| Joke 18: “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” |
| Joke 19: Q: Who cleans the ocean? A: Mer-maids. |
| Joke 20: Q: Why do potatoes argue? A: Because they can’t see eye to eye. |
| Joke 21: Q: What’s a plant’s favourite drink? A: Root beer. |
| Joke 22: My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?” We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals. |
| Joke 23: Q: Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? A: There are ears everywhere! |
| Joke 24: Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? A: He was a little shellfish (sounds like ‘Selfish’). |
| Joke 25: Q: Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? A: Because he was always lost at C (sounds like ‘Sea’). |
| Joke 26: Q: Why did the gardener quit? A: His celery (sounds like salary) wasn’t high enough! |
| Joke 27: Q: If you every get cold, just stand in a corner for a bit. A: They are usually around 90 degrees. |
| Joke 28: If someone calls you “Ugly” have a good comeback and say ‘Excuse Me, I am not a Mirror’. |
| Joke 29: A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a shit-zu! |
| Joke 30: I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist (sounds like ‘miss’). |
| Joke 31: Q: What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race? A: Nothing. They fast! |
| Joke 32: Q: Who shaves 10 times a day but still has a beard? A: A barber! |
| Joke 33: Q: Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer? A: Because she always runs away from the ball! |
| Joke 34: Q: Why did the walnut go out with a prune? A: Because they couldn’t find a date! |
| Joke 35: Q: Why did the students eat their homework? A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake! |
| Joke 36: Q: What do you call a meditating wolf? A: Aware wolf! |
| Joke 37: I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers (sounds like ‘tears’). |
| Joke 38: Q: What did the Swordfish say to the Marlin? A: You are looking sharp! |
| Joke 39: Q: Why can’t you trust atoms? A: Because they make up every thing! |
| Joke 40: Q: Why is a carrot the best detective? A: They get to the root of every case! |
| Joke 41: Q: How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? A: With a cow-culator! |
| Joke 42: Q: How many lips does a flower have? A: Tu-lips! |
| Joke 43: Q: What did the cake say to the fork? A: “Want a piece of me?!” |
| Joke 44: Q: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny! |
| Joke 45: Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was out standing in his field. |
| Joke 46: The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense! |
| Joke 47: Q: What do you call an American bee? A: A USB! |
| Joke 48: Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? A: Ketchup! (sounds like Catch up!) |
| Joke 49: Q: Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? A: They’d crack each other up! |
| Joke 50: Q: How do you fix a broken tomato? A: Tomato paste! |
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