Top 50 Funny Gym Jokes Ever

Brighten up your day with the following Top 50 Funny Gym Jokes that will make you Laugh.

Joke 1:
Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the most lying down.

 

Joke 2:
[at the gym]
Me: what does this machine do?
“Sir, that’s a bench.”
Me: perfect.

 

Joke 3:
I cried at the gym today because the elevator was broken and I had to take the stairs.
It was like they made me exercise before I was going to exercise.

 

Joke 4:
Ugh, who has time to work out?
-I say before a 45 minute nap.

 

Joke 5:
Thing I Counted As Exercise Today: Going to exchange a sweater but forgetting the sweater, then eating a burrito and going home.

 

Joke 6:
Me: Can’t. I’m exhausted from all the CrossFit this morning.
Him: It’s pronounced ‘croissant’ and how did you end up eatting the entire dozen?!

 

Joke 7:
How to get ready for the gym:
Throw on sports bra
Put on leggings and comfy top
Grab shaker cup
Pour wine into it
Sit on couch
Netflix

 

Joke 8:
I’ve never done CrossFit but I have chased my shopping list through a windy parking lot before.

 

Joke 9:
I’m the best at pretending there’s something wrong with the machine at the gym when I don’t know how to use it.

 

Joke 10:
[At the gym]
“Excuse me where are the stepper machines?”
Up on the 2nd floor
*Takes the elevator*

 

Joke 11:
Just stopped in the middle of my run to pet a golden retriever puppy, am I doing fitness right?

 

Joke 12:
Fitness status: Saved a bunch of workout videos on facebook for later.
Much later.
Probably never look at them again.

 

Joke 13:
I’m sorry if I don’t wave or smile back at you while I’m running.
It’s just that I’m trying very hard to not die.

 

Joke 14:
Huff, puff, pass…
– Me trying to run this morning.

 

Joke 15:
About to start my first half marathon and no one can tell me where the diarrhea pits are located

 

Joke 16:
My first workout back at the gym was great.
I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital.

 

Joke 17:
Finally tried the whole “jogging” thing.
There are people who do this every day??
For longer than ten minutes???

 

Joke 18:
SLAM flop boing jiggle OUCH
   SLAM flop boing jiggle OUCH
SLAM flop boing jiggle OUCH
   SLAM flop boing jiggle OUCH –Me, running

 

Joke 19:
I thought a spin cycle class was about laundry.

 

Joke 20:
A man in his sixties asks the trainer at the gym: What machine should I use to impress a 30 year old girl?
The personal trainer looks at him and says … “I recommend the ATM.” 

 

Joke 21:
Tomorrow I’m definitely going to start running, no matter how many days it takes!

 

Joke 22:
My favorite gym day is when I do 20 minutes of untangling my ear buds and then leave because I’m hungry.

 

Joke 23:
ME: can’t go running with you, all my workout clothes are dirty
FRIEND: oh nice, been exercising?
ME: no, pasta sauce

 

Joke 24:
Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns. 

 

Joke 25:
I was going to go running but no one was chasing me.

 

Joke 26:
My running form could be described as “drunk woman slowly being chased by no one”.

 

Joke 27:
I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that’ll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.

 

Joke 28:
Fitness Failure: I just burned 2000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

 

Joke 29:
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls 

 

Joke 30:
Just added ‘Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car’ as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit.

 

Joke 31:
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!

 

Joke 32:
Running is great, cause you forget all your problems because you’re too busy focusing on one problem, and that’s that your whole body hurts.

 

Joke 33:
Me at night: I’m getting up at 6am to run.
Me next morning: maybe I’ll just do a few sit-ups and call it a day.

 

Joke 34:
I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.

 

Joke 35:
I’m thinking of running a marathon.
Well, I’m thinking of TRAINING for a marathon.
Okay, I just want to carboload.

 

Joke 36:
I always hope that when people see me outside running they think, “wow, an athlete!” but instead it’s probably more like, “Aw, good for her.”

 

Joke 37:
Q: Why did the bodybuilder go to the hospital?
A: Somebody told him he was all cut up! 

 

Joke 38:
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally, I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
“No,” she replied, “but we have a lobby and you can wait there.”

 

Joke 39:
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you’d like to lose a half pound right now, press “1” 18,000 times.

 

Joke 40:
That awkward moment running near a friends house when you want to text them “hey, can I poop in your bathroom real quick?”

 

Joke 41:
Just been to the gym and there’s a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything ‘Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps’!

 

Joke 42:
Q: What did the bodybuilder say when he opened his protein tub?
A: No whey! 

 

Joke 43:
I hate when I’m running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it’s been 4 minutes.

 

Joke 44:
*Refuses to go to the gym 
Adds resistance training to workout list.

 

Joke 45:
*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*

 

Joke 46:
Such a beautiful day out, I thought I’d go running. But then I remembered I don’t do that so now I’m eating Doritos for breakfast.

 

Joke 47:
Do people who say, “Exercise helps me relax” know about not exercising?

 

Joke 48:
Strong people don’t put other people down.
They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.

 

Joke 49:
What do you do for exercise?
I lift weights.
What do you do for cardio?
I lift weights faster.

 

Joke 50:
I like all the things about running that aren’t running. (Eating carbs, comfortable footwear, being cheered.)

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